My four -year old granddaughter is shaping up to be doggedly self-reliant.  She must do it by herself , and she receives lots of praise for this.  There are times when she has success and times when there are buckets of tears and I mean buckets!  Her seven- year old sister has a more flexible personality and has learnt the benefits of doing it yourself as well as seeking assistance from others, fewer tears for a start, and the opportunity to learn how to do it from the already experienced.

Both scenarios are common day occurrences – with the young , the older and the old! Maturity comes from recognising the lessons learnt in either scenario. Some of us learn and some of us keep trying to do it on our own.

The level of self- reliance incorporated into how we cope is influenced by our personality, the environment we grew up in and the prevailing cultural mores.

I went to boarding school as a seven year old and learnt the hard way, self- reliance equals survival.  It’s been a hard lesson for me to unlearn.  I don’t know everything, more particularly I don’t have to know everything and often I am on a winner when I ask for assistance

Change , particularly change that has been foisted on us, is when the decision to deal with it on our own can result in “buckets of tears”.